Friday, March 20, 2009
Monday, December 1, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Guess the election is getting to me.....
I got a spam email from some guy claiming to be a Christian dollmaker in Dallas trying to sell me dolls (I guess?) Fair to say, the election has me a bit on edge, and the goodwill and patience I had for conservatives in my last post is all but gone.
The original email:
I kinda lost my shit on the guy (he is a Cowboys fan on top of everything else.)
You can see his original email below my response.
James,
First of all I'm a Philadelphia Eagles fan. Cowboys suck, Romo is a joke.
Second, I don't appreciate your spam, take me off your list.
Third, and not least, I'm not your fellow Christian. My beliefs are none of your business and frankly, my feelings about Southern Christians, especially given your rhetoric during the campaign season, is that you are not much better than the ignorant, judgmental, perpetually afraid and easily manipulated people we are fighting in the Middle East. The Taliban comes to mind, if you know who that is.
We are at war with them in Afghanistan.
That's the country from which the 9/11 attacks originated. You know, the event you and your provincial conservative mega-church going pals co-opt to proclaim your patriotism, even though you made no sacrifices that horrible day, and consider those who died East Coast liberal elites, or "Fake Americans."
And you, the Real Americans, who contribute almost nothing economically or otherwise to our country have forced the rest of us to put up with a terrible government for the last 8 years because you were gullible enough to be duped into thinking the Republicans give two shits about you and your problems. Six years of uncontested government power, what did they do for your whack-job social agenda? Nothing. But they sure did make themselves and their buddies rich trashing our country. Good job asshole, McCain '08 right?
You represent the very worst America has to offer, and are the reason it's such an embarrassment to travel abroad on a US passport.
If Obama wins, I hope you find the next 4 to 8 years unbearable as you watch your un-American, anti-Constitution, anti-science and intellect movement die a pathetic death. If you and your "Real American" cohorts decide you can't take it and want to try to secede again, well just let us know when and where to meet to sign the paperwork.
Have fun with your dolls, jerkoff.
Chandler
The original email:
Hello,
I know your first impression is that this is just another unwanted spam mail. But it is not, I’m a real person who has a web based Christian shop, that started last week and I would like you to check out and simply give me your opinion of my site and literary works. If you should happen to find something you like then great!
furioncreations.com
I get really tired of people sending me e-mails trying to always sell me something. Or it is something from a bank inAfrica that is going to offer to put thousands or millions of dollars in my account if I give them my name, address and eventually bank account so they can drain me dry. I want so such thing from you and my modest workshop is located there in Dallas, Texas area. By the way Cowboys Rule..!...LoL
O.k. anyway I’m an aspiring writer who would love to publish his own book one day. So, I dug in my modest budget and got this all set up to sell my second passion hand made porcelain dolls. God gives us all a gift, and if you want to be successful in life, you need to use that gift to get ahead in life. I do not want you to buy anything from my site you do not need or desire, but take a few moments out of your day to look over my literary work and give me your opinion. I need feed back from the public at large to my work in that, I may appeal to all that I wish to reach.
Take 5 min. out of your time to do this for a fellow Christian, and there is an e-mail address that you may write me directly on the site to submit your opinions in the “Contact Us” section of the site. No be nice, I do have a editor that is checking over my work behind me, so there may be some spelling mistakes. I was kind of in a hurry, so I may have tripped on the spelling and grammar of some words. This coming from a writer, Hey! That is why we have editors for….ha ..ha ..ha.
Anyway, again thank you for taking your valuable time to read this and remember God blesses 10 fold for those who contribute. So, give to your church and support it for your church needs support to keep the lights on, and your blessings to the church you attend, is needed and appreciated …AMEN…Sincerely, James (TEX) Alvarado
furioncreations.com
P.S. If you enjoy my works come back to this message and type the word “yes” in the subject line and I shall be happy to e-mail you future literary works as they are completed…Thanks and have a blessed day.
This message is sent in compliance of the new email Bill HR 1910. Under Bill HR 1910 passed by the 106th US Congress on May 24, 1999, this message cannot be considered Spam as long as there is a way to be removed. Per Section HR 1910, please type, "UNSUBSCRIBE" in the subject line and reply to this email. All removal requests are honored allow 1 week for you to be removed completely. If we offended you please accept our sincere apology Reply: jamesalvarado@furioncreations.com
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Doing my civic duty- debating politics with southern conservatives
It all started when I got the below photo of Obama in an email form my cousin.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ4uoNVZc-ZKi5U1Fi6ElMhYS8j24SJBfDynBkJFLP87Hf2jF_Xp5r7qHsAS-rWG_LKp_E95UBHJZ2N4xukVXrRh4RKaG01dMsForKyf5iL-QjHPz_-uAOr6mt5ek6NHeT2JYhpjJhU-2D/s400/obama+email.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ4uoNVZc-ZKi5U1Fi6ElMhYS8j24SJBfDynBkJFLP87Hf2jF_Xp5r7qHsAS-rWG_LKp_E95UBHJZ2N4xukVXrRh4RKaG01dMsForKyf5iL-QjHPz_-uAOr6mt5ek6NHeT2JYhpjJhU-2D/s400/obama+email.jpg)
In case you can't read the small type, it says:
An all around sweet, funny and intelligent woman in her mid 20's, my cousin Emily is in the middle of her third masters degree and an Evangelical Christian living in Ashland Kentucky. I was shocked to get this from her.
I felt bad for a moment after I sent it, I didn't want to embarrass my cousin. That was shortly followed by, "fuck it." I also realized the book they were freaking out about is by Fareed Zakaria, a Newsweek columnist and regular guest on The Daily Show. Hardly the Jihadist propaganda master the email's original author made him out to be.
The responses came in pretty fast:
I was a bit baffled by Jerry's suggestion that Barack Hussein Obama changed his name, a la Muhammad Ali, to possibly the most politically disadvantageous name in history. I wondered if Jerry thought Obama had specifically changed his name in preparation for his run for the Presidency, liking the attention gained by having a huge political liability hanging over his head. Or maybe Jerry assumed it was the unfortunate result of a night of drinking with his terrorist buddies, kind of like waking up the next morning with a tattoo. I decided to take the high road and politely correct the inaccuracies of his argument.
Jerry seemed like a good enough guy, perhaps with a bit of a random train of thought. I wasn't sure what the point of his opening paragraph was, but I felt that acknowledging his military service would be the polite thing to do, and left it at that.
I was surprised but Jerry's enthusiasm and a bit weirded out by the Almighty Christian thing. It smacked of some sort of talking point reinforced in whatever congregation he attended and implied that supreme Christianity is the main qualification for President in the US.
My cousin chimed in:
Oh I realized all right....
My brother emailed me, brimming with sarcasm,
My cousin forwarded an email she received from someone named Bryan writing from an NRA email address.
I was honestly a bit disappointed I didn't get more of these kinds of emails. Bryan didn't seem to know that Emily and I are related, and amusingly, that Chandler is a family name.
I decided that a tone of hyper-cordiality would serve the dual purpose of not playing into his hostility, and hopefully irritate the crap out of him. Either way, I figured the surprise of hearing from me would be a nice treat.
Bryan's response had an air of Southern politeness mixed with hostility.
I found it funny that he criticized me for objecting to the Obama email, but proclaimed righteousness for voicing his opinions and taking a stand against me, the arrogant Yankee liberal sipping Chardonnay while passing judgment on Real Americans from the comfort of my yacht, the USS Welfare State. My response:
I have yet to hear back from Bryan.
Someone named Cathy then weighed in, I imagined a shrill screechy voice as I read her email,
Without realizing there really is a history of Irritable Bowel Syndrome in my family, I responded:
I also heard from someone going by "Carpenter" who actually had a sense of humor:
I wrote him/her back:
My cousin and I exchanged a few more emails spanning everything from family to politics. I realized she didn't really seem to believe what the email she forwarded claimed about Obama. In fact her view of the election and our country's future seemed more cynical and negative than any of my "Yankee" friends. On the topic of the the election and our country,
She mentioned all of the emails and calls she had gotten as a result of my response to the mass email. I was surprised how much people cared. I more expected a deluge of "take me off this list" emails. She went on to rail against NAFTA for its effect on small towns like Ashland, and cited facts from her grad school history classes to pin some of the blame for the current economic slump on the Clinton administration.
The experience was enlightening if only to see how disgruntled most of these people are with our political process and frankly, how poorly informed and gullible Americans can be. Republicans have pulled off one of the greatest political scams in American history; convincing middle and lower class Americans to vote for them based on a handfull of cultural issues and a ferverent, poorly thought out form of nationalism, even though it's not at all in their best interest to support the GOP. I wonder how much of the cynisism I saw in the email exchanges is a direct result of the callus manipiulation these "Real Americans" have experienced.
"Now that the month of Ramadan has concluded, and daily required readings of the Quran have ceased, what does Obama read?... is reading The Post American World-- It's a Muslim's view of the future"
An all around sweet, funny and intelligent woman in her mid 20's, my cousin Emily is in the middle of her third masters degree and an Evangelical Christian living in Ashland Kentucky. I was shocked to get this from her.
A little bit of backstory, My mom was the only one of her siblings to leave Ashland, moving to the east coast. As a result, I spent a good amount of my childhood summers in Kentucky with my extended family doing all of the things most city kids don't get to do, like camping, mowing lawns and shooting the occasional rifle. The relatives I'm close to are smart and really funny. I recently realized my twisted sense of humor comes from that side of the family. I've always seen them as defying any preconceived notions one might have of people from the south, especially the younger generations.
Ashland sits perched on the banks of the Ohio River where Kentucky, West Virginia and Ohio meet. Most of my relatives are employed by one of the two major industries in town, Marathon Oil and the CSX Railroad. The last 30 years have been tough for Ashland. Like most of the south, it didn't see much benefit from the economic boom of the 90's and has the feel of an industrial town past its heyday, with most of its young people forced to move away to find work. I always assumed my relatives there were an even split between card carrying union members voting Democrat and Southern conservative Republicans, with only a few being devout Christians. I never bothered to ask about political inclinations, but I did receive a few vociferously anti-Bush emails in 2004 from the union members.
Aside from the 50 or so people my cousin had forwarded the email to, most of the body of the email was taken up by the hundreds, if not thousands, of people the email had already been forwarded to. There were too many indentation arrows to count.
In a moment of exasperation I fired off the following email,
Aside from the 50 or so people my cousin had forwarded the email to, most of the body of the email was taken up by the hundreds, if not thousands, of people the email had already been forwarded to. There were too many indentation arrows to count.
In a moment of exasperation I fired off the following email,
For the millionth time the man is not a Muslim. Whoever told you he is is lying. He was a member of Rev. Wright's congregation in Chicago, in case you missed the controversy that surrounded that issue.
If he is reading a book on the Islamic world view it's probably because we are dependent on their oil and embroiled in 2 wars in the middle east. Since when is reading a book unpatriotic?
If you disagree with his policies, don't vote for him, but there's no reason to spread unsubstantiated rumors about the man or buy into conspiracy theories based on possibly photoshopped pictures off of the Internet.
Chandler
I felt bad for a moment after I sent it, I didn't want to embarrass my cousin. That was shortly followed by, "fuck it." I also realized the book they were freaking out about is by Fareed Zakaria, a Newsweek columnist and regular guest on The Daily Show. Hardly the Jihadist propaganda master the email's original author made him out to be.
The responses came in pretty fast:
Any man that changes his American name to Obama...says enough for me about his beliefs!!!!!!!!
Well need I say more......
Coming from a True and Proud United States Veteran!!
-Jerry
I was a bit baffled by Jerry's suggestion that Barack Hussein Obama changed his name, a la Muhammad Ali, to possibly the most politically disadvantageous name in history. I wondered if Jerry thought Obama had specifically changed his name in preparation for his run for the Presidency, liking the attention gained by having a huge political liability hanging over his head. Or maybe Jerry assumed it was the unfortunate result of a night of drinking with his terrorist buddies, kind of like waking up the next morning with a tattoo. I decided to take the high road and politely correct the inaccuracies of his argument.
As far as I know that is his given name. His father was Kenyan, thus his last name Obama. Barack means "blessed" in Swahili. He went by the nickname Barry in college.
Personally, I like being employed, and if the economy doesn't improve that could be a problem. I'd also like to pay lower taxes, thus I'm voting for Obama
Chandler
The 911 attacks were already in the making prior to 9/11/01 ~ since then we've not had one attack on American soil. Since we took the war back to their homeland ~ I took a oath to defend this country if it meant dying for her. The Americans on 9/11 did not take that oath ~ soldiers take that oath.
I do have to admit ~ I'm a Democrat. But after the clinton year's I changed to voting for the man not the office.
So Pray for me ~ I'm actually still undecided to this day.
My biggest sway is Pro-Life!!!!
Thanks Chandler!!
Jerry
Jerry seemed like a good enough guy, perhaps with a bit of a random train of thought. I wasn't sure what the point of his opening paragraph was, but I felt that acknowledging his military service would be the polite thing to do, and left it at that.
Yes Jerry. Abortion's a tough issue.
Regardless thank you for your service and good luck with your choice. Ignore all of the BS on the Internet
Best
Chandler
Trust me ~ I do!! Thanks Chandler!!
I pray that God places the one that is the Almighty Christian!!
God Bless
Jerry
I was surprised but Jerry's enthusiasm and a bit weirded out by the Almighty Christian thing. It smacked of some sort of talking point reinforced in whatever congregation he attended and implied that supreme Christianity is the main qualification for President in the US.
My cousin chimed in:
Did you realize that your email went to all of my friends, now I have friends calling me telling you're nuts?!?!?! ..... I don't really care... I just thought it was funny.....
Emily
Oh I realized all right....
If people think what I'm saying is nuts, our country is so screwed. These are facts anyone can look up.
I think nuts is believing gossip off of the Internet, but that's me
Chandler
My brother emailed me, brimming with sarcasm,
So, is he Shia or Sunni? I can't keep it straight.
My cousin forwarded an email she received from someone named Bryan writing from an NRA email address.
Emily,
Who is this idiot liberal?? Tell him stop showing his ignorance and to shut up!!.
waste your time and emails on this weener.
Obahma is a baptist name.....right?
Is Chandler a girl?? that is a girls name right?
Bryan
I was honestly a bit disappointed I didn't get more of these kinds of emails. Bryan didn't seem to know that Emily and I are related, and amusingly, that Chandler is a family name.
I decided that a tone of hyper-cordiality would serve the dual purpose of not playing into his hostility, and hopefully irritate the crap out of him. Either way, I figured the surprise of hearing from me would be a nice treat.
Hi Bryan, I'm Chandler, it's a man's name. I was responding to a mass email from my cousin that was flat out wrong and full of ridiculous lies. I'm sorry if you object to receiving these things, I definitely won't bother you with them, hell we don't even know each other and live in different parts of the country, You just happened to be on the list.
I can tell by your email address that you're probably voting Republican. Not sure why you'd assume I'm liberal simply because I object to absurd propaganda. I could be an independent, or even a Republican who wants to see this election play out based on facts and not crazy conspiracy theories. John McCain has said as much at his own rallies.
Either way, we both want the same thing I assume; A free election in a free country and a government that doesn't try to legislate our behavior. A government for the people. Part of having this liberty is a healthy political dialog between people who may not agree. Telling each other to shut up gets us nowhere.
Best to you and yours
Chandler
Bryan's response had an air of Southern politeness mixed with hostility.
First of all I thought it was poor taste emailing Emily friends just to show your opinion you could have just deleted it or emailed her alone. Then she told me your where a relative and lived in New York (that explains it). Anyone who defends Obama is liberal. I have seen way to much evidence on Obama and what he believes in:
1st he wants to take my guns
2 he says it is okay for a woman to murder a baby if she wants to.
that is enough for me...Gods word makes it clear.
I am sure you never give your opinion on a person or believe...
I am independent and vote for the lesser of two evils. (although I am more Republican than Democrat). My first choice was for Ron Paul, My 2nd choice would have been Huckabee. My 3rd would be Palin (she is a life NRA member)... I am voting for McCain because he is all we have and is the last choice, and it would hopefully help keep Obama out....I am not ashamed to say what or who I stand for. Evil prevails when good men do nothing!!
Emily is a sweetheart and I regret that she has to deal with your Yankee ego. Yes I am a little Redneck when it comes to my beliefs but I know to many who have died for them. This country need to go back to the Bible and stick to Constitution.
I am not here to argue or cause a tiff between you and Emily. That is all I got to say, you can have the last word.
I found it funny that he criticized me for objecting to the Obama email, but proclaimed righteousness for voicing his opinions and taking a stand against me, the arrogant Yankee liberal sipping Chardonnay while passing judgment on Real Americans from the comfort of my yacht, the USS Welfare State. My response:
Bryan, thank you for taking the time to respond. Not sure what you mean by me not having an opinion or not believing? Regardless, why do you feel the need to resort to a personal attack? We don't know anything about each other and isn't it a bit unChristian to pass judgement or insult me by saying I have a Yankee ego? Why can't we respectfully disagree?
Secondly, I respect your beliefs whatever they are and I certainly hope you will vote your conscience. On that note I object to lies being spread in what is a very important election that will affect all of us equally. You are 100% right about evil prevailing if good people do nothing, thus I felt it important to counter an Internet conspiracy theory based on nonsense (the book in question was not written by an Islamist, the author is a regular columnist for Newsweek, it's about America's standing in the world. Look it up on Amazon to find our more.) and I'm sure if Emily didn't want to start a dialog with people she wouldn't have sent a mass email in the first place. She and I have had a cool back and forth of emails about all this, which is great. This is what living in a democracy is all about. A lot of people have died for our freedom of speech, we'd be dishonoring their sacrifice by not debating these issues.
As for guns, Obama has made it clear he doesn't want to take them away. Even if he theoretically did, the president doesn't have that kind of power and the NRA and Supreme Court would never allow it. As for abortion, I feel the government has no right to invade people's privacy when it comes to matters of health. These rights are protected by the constitution, same as the right to bear arms.
I agree we need to stick to the constitution, it's a brilliantly farsighted document. The constitution lays out a very clear separation of church and state exactly so that we may live by whatever religion we choose without persecution.
A lot of conservatives have endorsed Obama, Colin Powell and several columnists such as Christopher Buckley. NYC has plenty of conservatives despite what you might hear.
Please do feel free to respond if you like, I welcome the debate of ideas. Our country needs it.
Either way, best to you and yours.
Chandler
PS Chandler is a family name in Emily and mine's family.
I have yet to hear back from Bryan.
Someone named Cathy then weighed in, I imagined a shrill screechy voice as I read her email,
Hi Emily!
What in the world is Chandler Kaufmann's problem? I dont even know who that is......
Cathy
Without realizing there really is a history of Irritable Bowel Syndrome in my family, I responded:
Tell her my problem is chronic constipation. See how that goes over.
Chandler
I also heard from someone going by "Carpenter" who actually had a sense of humor:
I heard on Fox News that Obama is secretly planning to form an alliance with Al Qaeda once elected to office. Make sure that everyone knows about this!! FORWARD IT!! Chain emails are always the best sources of factual information.
I wrote him/her back:
I heard he was supposed to be the 20th hijacker on 9/11 but had to miss it to attend a vote in the Illinois State Legislature.
Saw a picture of him reading a science book, guess that means he's gonna make everyone get gay married.
Chandler
My cousin and I exchanged a few more emails spanning everything from family to politics. I realized she didn't really seem to believe what the email she forwarded claimed about Obama. In fact her view of the election and our country's future seemed more cynical and negative than any of my "Yankee" friends. On the topic of the the election and our country,
....but all I can say, whoever is going to be president the next several years, heck whoever is going to be the next three presidents, and the future to come, it's only going to get worse.....
She mentioned all of the emails and calls she had gotten as a result of my response to the mass email. I was surprised how much people cared. I more expected a deluge of "take me off this list" emails. She went on to rail against NAFTA for its effect on small towns like Ashland, and cited facts from her grad school history classes to pin some of the blame for the current economic slump on the Clinton administration.
I was on the phone talking about Obama and McCain like crazy last night...And having so many governmental classes and Latin American classes, the government is corrupt and it only gets worse....I do think it's awesome that a African American is running for President...
The experience was enlightening if only to see how disgruntled most of these people are with our political process and frankly, how poorly informed and gullible Americans can be. Republicans have pulled off one of the greatest political scams in American history; convincing middle and lower class Americans to vote for them based on a handfull of cultural issues and a ferverent, poorly thought out form of nationalism, even though it's not at all in their best interest to support the GOP. I wonder how much of the cynisism I saw in the email exchanges is a direct result of the callus manipiulation these "Real Americans" have experienced.
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